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Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our o...more
Paperback, 2nd (revised & updated) Edition, 221 pages
Published March 1st 2002 by Greenery Press (first published March 1st 1996)
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Rating details

Jan 31, 2017Anya (~on a semi-hiatus~) rated it really liked it · review of another editionPdf
Recommended to Anya (~on a semi-hiatus~) by: The Reddit BDSMcommunity
Shelves: i-am-mr-meeseeks, non-fiction, sexuality-and-so-on
I'm going to buy a paperback version of this book once I move out of my parents' place and put it on a bookshelf in my and the boyfriend's shared library. :')
Sep 02, 2015Dani rated it really liked it
Shelves: bdsm, d-s, sexuality, non-monogamy, non-fiction
So, I visited my kinky chosen-aunt again, and it was lovely, as always.
Definitely not a 'how-to' book but validating, non-judgmental and delving into some important psychological depths. Loved the feminist perspective. It's a classic.
Oct 03, 2018Aenea Jones rated it it was ok
I really tried to read this with an open mind.
I knew it would be hard, because to me, pain and pleasure are two distinct things. My body has one canal for pleasure, and another one for pain, and they are the exact opposite of each other.
So the idea of submissive people, who actually enjoy to be controlled, hurt and humiliated, and the concept of dominant people who enjoy controlling, hurting and humiliating others, for sexual pleasure on top of that, is downright harmful.
Yes, to me such behaviou
Jan 23, 2015Kim BookJunkie rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, bdsm-sex-slave-s-m-lite-bdsm, self-help, _e-book
I am not a member of the BDSM community, just someone who enjoys reading BDSM fiction. Since I enjoy reading BDSM romance and am open to learning about things that might enhance my personal life, I decided to check this book out. I did occasionally skim through the chapters that were not applicable to me or did not interest me yet I was careful to base my star rating solely on the material I did read.
This book was highly recommended by a knowledgeable couple in a 24/7
D/s relationship. It was cr
Jul 27, 2007Mark Stone rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: tops, bottoms, switches, and anyone else interested in BDSM sexuality.
When my girlfriend and I took our questions about our burgeoning interest in BDSM to our more experienced friends in Washington D.C., they recommended that we start with this book, and it's sister The New Bottoming Book. The authors write with wit and compassion, making this a fun, sexy, and comforting read.
It's important to remember, however, that this isn't a 'how-to' manual. It won't tell you how to play BDSM games with your lover - at most, there are a few scenes you might find interesting.
Dec 01, 2015Beverly Diehl rated it it was amazing
Excellent resource about topping for beginners that skims the various ways someone might want to top, what their responsibilities are to their bottoms, and a deeper look at the emotions that can be invoked playing this way. I had a lot of fun reading it, making the attached video review (, and expect to be returning to it periodically. Highly recommended for both beginners, and for writers who want to include these kinds of scenes in their own work.
May 30, 2016Zuzka Namu Jakubkova rated it it was amazing
Very good guide on navigating the 'dominating' part of D/S relationships. Great sections on communication and dealing with your own negative energy. Excellent chapters on toys. Note to self: must buy more blindfolds.
Aug 03, 2013Lourdes Bernabe rated it really liked it
I thought this book was a great introduction into the complex and diverse world of S/M. I would recommend this book to someone with no knowledge of the world and who wants to dive in one toe at a time.
Feb 26, 2011♆ BookAddict ✒ La Crimson Femme rated it liked it
This is an okay book to start out with for new tops. Explains some of the situations which may throw a new Top into a spin.
It totally changed my views on BDSM. A journey into the unknown darkness.
Jul 12, 2018Malobee Silvertongue rated it liked it · review of another edition
BDSM through a very heavy lens focused on the S/M. I appreciate their efforts in writing this, however I found most of the content to be rather repetitive discussion of negotiation, awareness, and aftercare. It would probably be a good start for someone very new to the scene, but I found it to be less than helpful with a writing style that didn't really keep me interested either. This is not useful for people interested in or interested in learning more about D/s.
Jan 21, 2013Annie rated it did not like it
Shelves: read-in-2013, reviewed, sex-sexuality-and-gender, not-my-cup-of-tea, nonfiction
I was very meh on this book. Someone else loaned it to me, so I figured I'd take a shot at it. I wasn't super impressed, to be honest. Granted, none of this was really new information to me, so unless you're an absolute beginner I'd suggest looking elsewhere. To be nit-picky, I found some of the 'interludes' to be a little too purple-prosey for my taste. Also, the chapter on spirituality kind of threw me for a curve ball, and not in a good way. The book also seemed rather repetitive at times. Bu...more
May 30, 2016Martin Hassman rated it really liked it
Klasika. Překvapila mě kapitola o kulturních traumatech a práci s nimi v rámci erotických her, musím si o tom zjistit víc.
Dec 22, 2018Teo 2050 rated it liked it
Shelves: _nonfiction, cupid-sexuality, _contents, lib_daniel_schmachtenberger, _audio, _narrated-by-author
Easton D & Hardy JW (1996) (06:03) New Topping Book, The
– revisioning
– what's changed?
– – the internet
– – D&S
– – more of us
– – language
– – BDSM
– – the interludes
– – we've changed too
Hello Again!
– yes, it's us again
– why we're writing this
– this is not a technical manual
– how we view BDSM
– how do you know you're a top?
– does there always have to be a top and a bottom?
01. What is it about Topping Anyway?
– building your hearth
– is all power the same?
– so what's in it for you
I didn't know what I was expecting. I guess I was just curious.
If you don't know anything about BDSM relationships, then go ahead and knock yourself out. If you are acquainted with the scene or take part in it, don't bother, you likely know everything in the book already.
Pretty much everything in this book is common sense and obvious to me. There are some good insights or well-put thoughts, but an overwhelming majority of the book is filler content and repetition.
My issue is mainly the writers
Jan 01, 2019David Sullins rated it really liked it
After really enjoying The Ethical Slut by Easton and Hardy, I wanted to read more by them so I got this without knowing what exactly was inside. This is not a BDSM how-to, it's more about issues like ethics, safety, and especially what's going on in the heads of tops and bottoms. If you want to learn to tie a dozen different kinds of knots, look elsewhere. But for what the book is, it's excellent.
I thought I was an open minded person who'd have no problems with the topics discussed in the book.
Feb 28, 2017Andi rated it really liked it · review of another edition
Shelves: 1-2017-ez-rat, bdsm, non-fiction, recommended
I read this non-fiction, educational BDSM book along with another one that contrasted greatly. The other was like an encyclopedia with editorial comments. This one is written more like a journey through the thoughts and emtotions of the power exchange. The other was about the facts. This one is about the feels. I enjoyed both books but they do serve distinctly different purposes.
As other reviewers have said, this book is not a how to. There is practical advice but it's more filled with understa
This is a really good book. I'm sort of in a raw place after reading it, especially the end, so I probably won't be able to write coherently about it right now.
Top takeaways: Wanting to hurt people isn't necessarily bad and doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. BDSM can be a means of dealing with energy, impulses, and feelings that it is unsafe to express in'regular' life. BDSM is philosophically compatible with shamanic and spirit work as a form of releasing held trauma, changing assumpti
This is a solid book for someone newish to the BDSM kink scene. It's probably worth knowing that the book is chock-full of woo and incredibly dated. Having said that, BDSM and kink don't change much over time, so it's still very valuable. Easy to read and accessible. You can knock this one out in less than a day and feel as though you've learned something (assuming that you don't already have a lot of exposure to this information)
+feminist and intersectional
+thorough in investigating the various
Sep 01, 2017Mashiara rated it liked it
I read this book mainly because I wanted to understand top headspace better (yes, this is what I read as writing research), and I think it was possibly the wrong expectation for this book. While it is a solid book with many practical beginners' recommendations, I did not find a connection to the content, and thus, for me, ultimately reading the book did not give me any new information and it didn't give me a deeper understanding, either.
Nov 15, 2017Rachel rated it liked it
Really interesting, fairly comprehensive overview of ethics and communication skills for kinky relationships written by two queer (white) women, one of whom is also a therapist. I specify white because they make overtures to talking about race-related power dynamics and POC in the kink community, but don't get much farther than mere acknowledgement.
May 01, 2019Lee Ann rated it liked it · review of another edition
** This book has been updated **
I haven't read the updated book. This was a fun primer which paired well with the Bottoming Book by the same authors.
Didn't delve much into 'how to's' but did cover some interesting thoughts on what it can feel like to explore power exchange with other people.
Apr 29, 2019Katie rated it it was ok · review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, research, self-help, women-writers, anthropology
Probably a 2.5 star book, mostly because the 1996 edition is showing its age, and mostly because it belongs in the category of BDSM101
Read it for book club along with The Bottoming book. It would have never occurred to me to read it but it was well written and I learned new things. I genuinely enjoyed it.
May 20, 2015Edward Richmond rated it really liked it · review of another edition

The New Topping Book Pdf Download Pdf

Shelves: gender-studies, glbt, kindle-books, non-fiction, psychology, reference, self-help, sex
This was a fairly comprehensive beginners' guide. It was well written, lively, and approachable. All good things. If it has a strength, it is that the authors, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, are very concerned with making sure that there is something useful for any new or would-be top who reads this book. The trade-off is that this is an extremely generalist book that is not going to be fully applicable to individual circumstances.
Note well: this is not a how-to manual. There are no guides to kn

The New Topping Book Pdf Download Full

Sep 13, 2015JackLeGeth rated it liked it
Je possède celui ci (en française 'l'art de dominer') et son pendant 'l'art d'être soumis'. J'ai plutôt aimé 'l'art d'être soumis' car il me correspondait mieux mais les deux sont assez bienveillant. Cet ouvrage est écrit par deux femmes pratiquant le bdsm, étant elles mêmes queer et hétéro pour la seconde mais dans les deux cas kinkster et donc marginales sexuellement. Il est plus épais que 'l'art d'être soumit' et regorge de conseils très utiles pour qui veut dominer de manière safe, consensu...more
Apr 16, 2015Paige La Marchand rated it it was amazing
The original version (The Topping Book) was published in 1994. The edition (The New Topping Book) I read was published ten years later. Amazon lists another edition that was published in 2011, which may be more current in terms of terminology regarding the internet (or the ‘Net as they say in the second edition).
I’m a sub, obviously, but I’m also new to the BDSM scene and want to learn as much as I can. This is my first non-fiction reading in book form (I’ve read a good amount on FetLife and oth
Jun 16, 2008Cher rated it it was ok
These Easton books taught me absolutely nothing about how to approach topping, bottoming, or a poly lifestyle. All they say is to communicate and sit patiently with whatever your partner has to say unless it cramps your poly style -- hey what a great idea! to talk to your partner! & your 'wrong'-headed feelings of jealousy will magically go away if you just talk yourself out of them.
There is very little practical advice about how to find community, multiple approaches to different types of
Feb 25, 2014Christopher Munroe rated it it was amazing
There may come a time in your life where an, in hindsight, obviously abusive relationship leaves you completely disassociated from your body and sexuality.
In times like that, I should think, it is only right and natural to go back to your roots. Reconnect with yourself on a fundamental level, remind yourself who you are and what it is that you like. A person who tore you apart is one thing, allowing their influence to keep you from the fullness of life even after they’re gone is quite another. Y
Jun 10, 2010Meg rated it really liked it
I bought this book recently as an addition to my research/resources library and am not sorry I did so.
While this is not a how to manual on BDSM, it is a very good introductory guide to S/M from the point of view of the Top or Dominant side of a D/s S/M relationship and I found it a quick, easy read and a good refresher for me.
I'd recommend it as a good primer for anyone who is interested in S/M or who is interested in writing about S/M.
The book divides itself between giving some practical advic
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The New Topping Book Review

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Also published under pseudonyms Catherine A. Liszt and Lady Green.
“When we blame, we fail to shoulder our part of the burden; we project the responsibility for whatever is wrong onto another, usually to protect ourselves from feeling terribly guilty or anxious. When we blame, we also disempower ourselves – if it’s all your fault, then I must be impotent.” — 0 likes
“Temporary marks, like bruises or welts that last a few days, are common occurrences in S/M. However, some people – such as those with vanilla partners at home – might have problems with them, so it’s probably a good idea to ask about marks before you haul out the cast-iron cane.” — 0 likes

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